How do you forgive someone who deceived you? How can you trust people again if they have done wrong to you?

To withhold forgiveness is to indulge our ego. Being unforgiving is a form of self-inflicted suffering. People who refuse to offer forgiveness wind up bitter and taxed by the things that transpire around them.

The trick about forgiveness is to keep in mind that it is not a form of condonation (sic). Just because you have forgiven someone doesn’t mean that you agree with their actions. It just means that you are done wishing for a better past and instead have come totally into the present. To forgive means to become present.

Trust is simply a matter of letting things play out without feeling the need to second guess. Just because a human has expressed his or her ignorance by doing wrong to you doesn’t mean you should withhold your ability to trust. If you do, you are the one that suffers.

No one deserves trust and no one deserves forgiveness. But you deserve peace. And in order to have it, we must be willing to offer trust and forgiveness over and over again. This doesn’t mean we can’t behave intelligently based on past events but it means we shouldn’t sully our state of mind by assuming negative things.

It is difficult to let go of something when you spend too much time identifying with it. Often people can’t let things go because to do so means to let go of a certain idea they have about themselves. This is the main problem of the ego, the wish to preserve a certain self-image.

Lazy Yogi

4 thoughts on “How do you forgive someone who deceived you? How can you trust people again if they have done wrong to you?

  1. Great post! Trust is a hard one for me. I think you just have to start small and work up to the bigger things. Try to make new friends and build trust slowly. Tell a little about yourself, see if anything comes back to you. As in, did that person tell others what you said in private? If not, put a little more out there. Work up trust in this way and build connections with others in the process.

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