Funerals Are For the Living

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” -C.S. Lewis 

“Grief is hard on friendships, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes, all it takes is a little honesty between friends. If we gently and lovingly explain what we need from the relationship during our time of grief, and what we are willing to do in return, we can turn even a lukewarm friendship into something special.” -Margaret Brownley

“Grief at the absence of a loved one is happiness compared to life with a person one hates.” -Jean de la Bruyere

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” ― Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and John Kessler

“The only cure for grief is action.” -George Henry Lewis

“When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time –the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers.” – John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

“My sister will die over and over again for the rest of my life. Grief is forever. It doesn’t go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath. I will never stop grieving Bailey because I will never stop loving her. That’s just how it is. Grief and love are conjoined, you don’t get one without the other. All I can do is love her, and love the world, emulate her by living with daring and spirit and joy.” ― Jandy Nelson, The Sky Is Everywhere

“You can not die of grief, though it feels as if you can. A heart does not actually break, though sometimes your chest aches as if it is breaking. Grief dims with time. It is the way of things. There comes a day when you smile again, and you feel like a traitor. How dare I feel happy. How dare I be glad in a world where my father is no more. And then you cry fresh tears, because you do not miss him as much as you once did, and giving up your grief is another kind of death.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton

“Grief is a process, not a state.” -Anne Grant

The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief

                         …WHERE ARE YOU?


9 thoughts on “Funerals Are For the Living

  1. “When our loved ones die, we don’t cry them, they’re in a better place, we cry for ourselves, for our own loss, for the what we will never have again.” Mirtha

    • I agree Mirtha. We mourn for ourselves, for what WE lost. And we all do it differently, at different times, and for different lengths of time. I guess there are two ways it can go in the long run -the loss and mourning can either make you a stronger person, or it can dibilitate and stunt your emotional / mental developement. There is a difference between grieving and depression, and we have to check ourselves every so often during the process to see if it has become less about the deceased, and more about us.

      • yes, that’s such an important fact, that we each mourn in a different way and we must respect how others mourn even if we don’t agree or like it. I remember telling my sister-in-law that my brother’s death was different to each of us. She lost her husband, but my Mom had lost her child, her daughter had lost her father, etc. I know that my pain is because I can’t call him anymore, I can’t hear his voice ever again, but I find comfort in knowing that he is no longer suffering, no longer enduring weeks at a time in the hospital and all that went with that. I’ll endure my pain in losing him, as long as he is no longer in physical pain.

  2. What a timely post for me right now. My moms birthday was yesterday – the second one we’ve celebrated (or haven’t) without her. Two years ago we were shocked to hear she was found dead in her apartment the day after leaving the hospital where she had surgery. My dad died 3 months earlier with another unexpected loss of life. Needless to say, it’s been a tough journey in letting go of my loved ones and trusting the process of grief to move me from heartbreak to healing. I still have my moments of utter saddness. But when I finish, and the last tear falls, I pick up my cross, lift my eyes to the heavens, and give thanks to my Father God for sending His only son, Jesus Christ, our heavenly Savior to gather up the his lost lambs and to be the saving sacrificed – once and for all. So I seek my Savior to help walk me through this grief process for however long out my be.
    Thank You for sharing this post. xo

  3. Forgive me, but I failed to mention how beautifully crafted this blog is. I met Mikhaila once. One time, and then two days later it would be to never hear her voice again. This blog has helped me not only grieve for this beautiful child, but it has also shown me that I’m not where I used to be when I was in my deepest despair during my grieving, and I praise my God for that! Thank you memo xo

    • You very welcome! I hope to evolve this blog in a way that it can affect lives as a non profit organization that sponsers youth financially through rehab …still a way to go though 🙂

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